We Don't Want to Sex Chat With YouI know. Shocking. We are open with our Masters/Dommes/boyfriends/husbands/girlfriends/partners/whatevers about sex. Overall, we are free-spirited individuals who love writing about intimate details between couples, strangers or casual acquaintances. Erotica writers have to be free and open enough to the fantasy to write erotica. We don't have to be free and open with you. We don't know you. Erotica writers love their fans. Don't get me wrong. We love to hear how much you love our books, how we write about sex so raunchy that it makes your cock stand up, but don't talk intimately to us about the hardness of your cock in any way, shape, or form. It crosses the line.
It's a line that exists in other genres, too, but the line isn't crossed as often. You can't walk up to the writer behind the Dexter books and tell him how much he inspired you to kill your next-door neighbor with a roll of Saran Wrap and a machete. Jeff Lindsay will call the police on you, not carry on a conversation about how hard it was to clean up the blood while you chastise him for not mentioning that blood causes stains while writing his book.
The average fantasy and science fiction fan understands he can't learn to fly by wearing a cape, or walk through the wall of a train station to board the express to Hogwarts. Those fans know that zombies are not outside the fences of the prison trying to get in and eat brains, but they can chat about how amazing the fantasy is. Or if the fans really do believe too deeply in zombies, they become doomsday preppers. They take it to another level, but even those die hard believers don't expect the authors to get involved to that degree. All genres have lines that fans might want to cross, but most fans of the other genres understand that the story is fantasy. Except some erotica fans.
For some reason, we touch fans so deeply that they want to touch us back. I don't believe in being rude to fans. They might not be able to express themselves appropriately about how much they loved the characters, the sex, or the book itself, but they deserve respect. With that being said, fans should keep their touch appropriate.
Don't touch us, we'll touch you.