Monday, August 26, 2013

Flavors of Non-Consent

This isn't a post about whether non-consent has a place in erotica or not. It clearly does, whether everyone likes it or not. It's controversial. I get that. But I'm not going to debate whether non-consent stories should exist. I'd like to talk about the flavors of non-consent.

There are degrees of non-consent from dubious consent bodice rippers that our parents might have read years ago and called "romance" to the stranger in a dark alley rape scene and everything in between.

I like writing about encounters between strangers. The strong forceful male sees something that he wants and takes it. She might enjoy it physically, or she might not. The level of humiliation and sadistic pain varies depending on the story I want to tell. Often, I tell the story from a woman's perspective, so the man is nameless. He's a strong pair of hands and a thick, hard cock taking her against her will. His eyes are piercing, dangerous and hypnotic. She doesn't need to know his name as he takes her intimately and brutally.

It's a difficult genre to write. There are hidden pitfalls that make a story enjoyable for some and not so enjoyable for others. For example, I love non-consent. That should be obvious. I don't like stories where there is physical violence that doesn't have sexual overtones. A woman getting punched in the face is not erotic to me. If he twists her nipples while whispering in her ear intensely, it makes me melt into a puddle. I like a plot and a storyline, but it doesn't have to have a deeper meaning. There doesn't have to be a great karma lightning moment for the attacker. He's probably going to get away with it and he won't have any feelings of remorse. She'll be left with a quivering pussy and a secret feeling of satisfaction.

Light humiliation is okay. Calling her a whore or a slut must be done with some class and a light touch. Even my own tastes are subtle. I don't like screaming men in my stories. He has to be strong, in control of himself the entire time, intense and...growly. (You know what I mean!) A wrong move could trigger instant dislike. As I write this, I think, 'oh boy, why do I write non-consent, again? It's hard!' Oh right. Because I absolutely love it.

The problem I have is with classification. All non-consent is not the same. My stories are not capture fantasies. They are not cleverly hidden romances. They are raw, sometimes unpleasant and (hopefully) always erotic. It doesn't appeal to everyone. Ultimately, I'm okay with that. I have to be. It's impossible to appeal to every reader without losing your voice.

I guess all I can do is put up warnings and disclaimers then label my non-consent as best I can for it to find its perfect audience.

Any thoughts on this? What do you love about non-consent?


  1. I agree, Ms Kealey. I doubly agree that labeling work is somewhat difficult at times. Adding to that it can be a bit uncomfortable when criticism comes on something a writer has shared and /or written.
    When writing stories/written works of a darker content it can be walking a circus tight rope. As you stated it takes doses of class and elegance to weave it in and it is all in hope of bringing the reader to that place where they may enjoy it. It`s weaving a spell and creating the magic of seducing them into the art of darker pleasures. Yes, sexual pleasure and romantic pleasures can be very dark and often are initiated by the female. Thus it is to be expected that not all erotica is romance and sweet things. There are many people out there that like their erotica, and story content with spice and with a dash of more than a lil interesting.
    So uhm..a suddenly grasping wrists and cuffing someone isn`t delicate. Possessing a woman who is willing but feisty isn`t a gentle task. Some women enjoy the wrestle and tussle of the play with a bit rougher things. Thus, stories of erotica and romance content often do reflect this. This is just as such stories should. These should reflect life and the romantic notions within life.
    Thank you for this entry. Wishing you blessings Hugs.

    1. Women can like romance, candles and flowers or cuffs, ropes and spankings. Some like all of it! It's amazing the things we can enjoy.

      Writing about the darker side of erotica is very much like walking a tight rope with people pelting you with tomatoes while you do it.

      Thanks for commenting.

  2. I like this post Tessa. I enjoy non-consensual's as well. And I agree that it must be done with ample amounts of finesse.

    1. Definitely. Now, to drill down into the meat of non-consent, hack it up and identify it for readers is the next step! Maybe a heat rating based on the amount of bruises and rope burns?

  3. I am all about non-consent but I do prefer the capture fantasy. It's totally to do with guilt about sex for one thing - that whole good girls don't thing when I was a virgin was instilled in me and those who fucked before marriage were whores and scums. So my fantasy has always been being forced against my will because there is no guilt. I wasn't responsible even though my entire life is one giant responsibility after another. But at the same time, I started masturbating at like age six. I've always desired sex so what does a good girl do? Invent a character who was born to be a submissive but has no idea until she is taken to the Cinderella Club. I spent this whole summer starting non-consent stories that remain unfinished because of that frustration that there is no audience. I don't really like BDSM because I can't for the life of me understand a woman who wants to willingly be treated like shit and beaten and all that. It's so fucking weird to me. But a strong willed, smart and beautiful woman who is forced to succumb to some powerful fucking while completely immobilized with rope, locked irons,!

    1. I tried to respond to your comment yesterday, but blogger hated me. Let's see if it likes me better today.

      I completely understand that no guilt, good girl response. I have a bit of that myself.

      Beatings and humiliation are only one part of BDSM, and only when the couple wants that. It doesn't have to be. Rope and tape are BDSM, too, depending on how they're used.

      If you've started that many, you have things to say! You should get them down and out into the world. You won't know about whether they have an audience or not until you do.

  4. Tessa, I'm so glad I found your writing. I so enjoyed "Simone" that I needed to find out more about the woman who could write this. As you make clear, certain kinds of erotic male dominance make you "melt into a puddle". You do a wonderful job giving us a good look at the woman's response to forced sex. But as a muscular male dominant, I was particularly struck by how well you can also describe the desires and urges of a man like me. It's uncanny, and not something I've ever found previously from a female author. I completely appreciate your comments about finding the right balance. A woman getting punched in the face is not erotic to me, either. In the real world, true non-consensual erotic sex is certainly rare, but I think it appeals to many women in the same way it appeals to you. You're simply much more open about it, and (oh yes!) you can write about it. I've had my share of experiences with women who knew generally what to expect from me, but didn't really know how far I would go when I had them tied down to the bed and was giving them a good whipping, or just how brutal I might be when I plundered them anally. So even though we weren't strangers, there was that element of fear combined with non-consent in the sense that they had no say and certainly no control over what I might do. And in "Simone" I think you captured the balance exactly right in that eroticism and sexual tension were always right at hand, as it were, available for the touching and the feeling.

    In my real world episodes, I'm certainly in touch with my base animal drives, but I'm also aware that I need to be in control. I need to read her body and gauge my use of force, and when I do it right, she opens herself even more and wants even more force. This was another aspect that I thought you captured very skillfully in "Simone". It's nothing short of exquisite when a woman's whimpers and cries during an anal assault turn to moans of pleasure and begging for it harder. That makes me very "growly", to use your word.

    So I'm not sure I can help with your problem of classification, but I'm not sure that it's a significant problem. As long as you make it clear up front that your stories are about erotic non-consent, I think that's enough to tell readers what they might be in for. And from what I read in "Simone", if you trust your own sense of what is erotic in this sub-genre, then I think you'll grow your base of appreciative fans. I've tried my hand at a few erotic pieces that others have enjoyed, so I appreciate it when you talk about the difficulty of writing in this genre. The few stories I've done have not had a significant element of non-consent, but you've got me thinking about giving it a try. Again, thank you, and I'm glad I found you.

    By the way, have you seen the movie "The Night Porter"? After the female protagonist has been anally raped by a strong silent man and he has left the room, the camera captures a wonderful sly little smile on her face. The movie is worth watching just for that.

    1. This was such an amazing comment to wake up to this morning! It's encouraging to know that my stories are reaching an appreciative audience. So many of the review comments I receive are from angry people who stumbled across the story accidentally and hate non-consent in general, or the kind non-consent that I write.

      Thanks for searching me out and taking the time to write. You can't know how much I needed that! As a self-published non-consent author, it's tough to know whether I'm heading in the right direction. You've reinforced the sense that if I stay true to what I love, I'll find my audience.