Monday, April 15, 2013

Menage Monday: BDSM vs Romance


Menage Monday

I'm in the middle of writing a BDSM story that might be considered erotic romance. I'm having a hard time classifying it. It doesn't matter, yet, since the story isn't finished. I'd only consider it romance because feelings develop during the course of the book. Whether they end up together is still up in the air, but then I started thinking about how the Dom expresses his romantic feelings.

Thinking. It almost always gets me into trouble.

Romantic gestures vs kinky gestures

Vanilla = Flowers
BDSM = A spanking

Flowers from a lover is a caring gesture. It can also be used by a partner who has done something wrong to avoid punishment. A spanking can be a caring gesture to a masochist who loves pain. It can also be used by a partner to give punishment. A Dom who is willing to correct through punishment is often seen as a caring Dom.

Vanilla = wedding ring
BDSM = collar

A wedding ring symbolizes a willingness to commit to a loving relationship. A collar symbolizes a commitment to a relationship, too. The level of commitment varies depending on the two people and the type of relationship.

Vanilla = sweeping the woman off her feet
BDSM = pushing the woman to her knees

Sweeping a woman off her feet isn't always literal unless it's the couple's wedding night and he carries her over the threshold. It is more symbolic of how fast she falls for him. In BDSM, the woman pushed to her knees in a D/s relationship symbolizes how far she's willing to go to serve.

This is of course over-generalized, and is just some similarities I've noticed when trying to write erotic romance with BDSM themes.

It fit in with the three things I love on Menage Monday: spanking, collars and kneeling.

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